I told myself I wasn't going to make it public when I had my 2nd miscarriage. Instead, I went and got a tattoo in memory of my 2 angel babies. I at least had something to remember them with. When I had my 3rd, I told myself I'd never tell people unless they asked.
I realize now, more than ever, that people need to be aware and informed; especially with all these awful bans and bills being passed. In case you haven't seen the uproar the abortion bans are causing, these bills also mention that women who have miscarriages could be interrogated and investigated to determine if it was an accident or a "murder" as they like to call it. Here's the thing; 1 in 4 pregnancies end in a miscarriage, through no fault of the woman. Plus, if medical professionals don't even know why the majority of them happen, how the hell could a politician know what caused it?
One could say that since I've had 3 miscarriages, I didn't want any of those babies. I wanted those babies more than anything in the world. I prayed to God and begged him not to take my babies from me. All. Three. Times. I am scared to death to get pregnant again and lose another baby. My heart is so torn and broken that I don't think I could go through it again.
I have had 2 consecutive miscarriages. Now that I've had three total, they call it Recurrent Pregnancy Loss. I would have never dreamed those words would be said about me. I never dreamed I'd lose one baby, let alone three. I am part of the 1% of women who have had 2 miscarriages in a row. Because of it, my weight has fluctuated up and down. I've had maybe 2 periods since December. We weren't trying either time, but the babies were wanted regardless.
My point in writing this is that I am someone you know. I am here and I have experienced loss X3 that most people couldn't even imagine. Many women have quietly suffered with the same thing. When I get pregnant again, whenever that may be, celebrate with me. Pray for my family. Be a part of our journey. And know that you're not alone.
