My husband and I dated for 3 years before getting married. (Our 3 year anniversary was 2 days before our wedding). During those three years, my husband and I never spent a Valentine's Day together. I always had to make a choice of having him there for my birthday or for Valentine's and I chose my birthday every year.
This year will be the first time we get to spend Valentine's Day together. I love the holiday. While some people argue that you shouldn't devote just one day to celebrating your love for someone, but instead, they should celebrate their love every day. While that is a nice sentiment, I love holidays and this one is devoted to my love for my husband. I plan on doing something very special for him that I usually don't do. I either want to take him out to dinner somewhere fancy and get all dressed up, (that part is for me) or I want to cook him a big dinner with candles and romantic music. I want to get him a box of chocolate or his favorite candy and maybe give him a massage.
Even though we spend every night together and we get to spend the rest of our lives with each other, this is our day to express the love in a way that we do not get to do every day. This isn't the only day or holiday that I express my deepest love. Other holidays that I get to do it are Christmas, his birthday, our days off together, which we never have, and on days when I decide to do something special out of the blue.
It makes me sad when the people who are single put down such a special day. My father used to buy chocolates for my sisters and I every Valentine's day and have them on the table for us before we went to school. Just because I didn't have a boyfriend doesn't mean that someone didn't love me. If you are single on Valentine's Day, do something special for yourself. You deserve to feel special and loved. If you don't love yourself first, no one will. Those who are single, either by choice or by life, should love Valentine's Day just as much as those who are committed.
It's true that society has turned such a special day into a commercialized buying frenzy just like they have with all the other holidays. I don't buy into that. To me, Valentine's day is a time for me to do something special for my husband. Yes, I will buy him a card and yes I will probably buy him chocolate. However, I don't need to spend tons of money to make my husband feel special and loved. All I have to do is one simple thing to let him know I love him.
What are you doing for Valentine's Day?
Monday, January 16, 2017
Sunday, January 8, 2017
High School vs. College
There are people who say that high school is the best four years of your life. On the other hand, there are people who say that college is the best four years of your life. I have to side with those who say college. While I did have some good times in high school, I really became who I am and made lifelong friends in college.
Yesterday, I saw a picture on Facebook. It was of a girl who I went to high school with at her wedding with a bunch of other girls that went to the same high school. The caption said something about staying friends after 8 years. I had associated with some of those girls when we were in high school and I might have even called a couple of them friends. It's been four and a half years since I've been in high school. There is only two girls who I talk to anymore and we don't even talk that often. I understand that life moves on and people drift apart but, with all the experiences we had together, it would be nice to at least keep in touch. I know that communication goes both ways, but trust me, I did try to no avail.
College was the fastest but best four years of my life. I made really good friendships that I know are going to last a lifetime. They all live in other states, but that doesn't stop our friendship. I also had the opportunity to get to know older adults that I worked with on campus. I was able to connect with people of all ages and life experiences. I reinvented myself and became the person that I am today. While freshman year was rough and full of bad decisions, I wouldn't trade those experiences for anything. The girls that I became friends with were present on my wedding day and celebrated my special day with me. I had no high school friends at my wedding and I only invited one of them (she wasn't there because a mix up of dates).
I did have many good experiences in high school. I had good and bad times, but what I remember most is leaving the school without a best friend and without that big group of friends that all the other people in my class had. I did have friends throughout the four years of high school, but none of them continued that friendship with me after we graduated.
I love my life now. I have a great group of women that I will continue my friendship with throughout our lives. I have a wonderful husband, my fur baby, my two families, and a long, exciting road ahead of me. Will I go to my 5 year high school reunion (if we have one)? Probably not. There really is no one that I long to see right now. No one from high school contacted me to congratulate me on my wedding and marriage. Only one person has reached out to talk about my life. To be honest, I'm really disappointed in my former high school classmates. I would have loved to stay in touch and to stay friends, but I guess I wasn't important enough in their lives as they were in mine. The friends I do have are from college and jobs I've had, and to be perfectly honest, that is quite okay with me. I wouldn't trade them for anything.
Yesterday, I saw a picture on Facebook. It was of a girl who I went to high school with at her wedding with a bunch of other girls that went to the same high school. The caption said something about staying friends after 8 years. I had associated with some of those girls when we were in high school and I might have even called a couple of them friends. It's been four and a half years since I've been in high school. There is only two girls who I talk to anymore and we don't even talk that often. I understand that life moves on and people drift apart but, with all the experiences we had together, it would be nice to at least keep in touch. I know that communication goes both ways, but trust me, I did try to no avail.
College was the fastest but best four years of my life. I made really good friendships that I know are going to last a lifetime. They all live in other states, but that doesn't stop our friendship. I also had the opportunity to get to know older adults that I worked with on campus. I was able to connect with people of all ages and life experiences. I reinvented myself and became the person that I am today. While freshman year was rough and full of bad decisions, I wouldn't trade those experiences for anything. The girls that I became friends with were present on my wedding day and celebrated my special day with me. I had no high school friends at my wedding and I only invited one of them (she wasn't there because a mix up of dates).
I did have many good experiences in high school. I had good and bad times, but what I remember most is leaving the school without a best friend and without that big group of friends that all the other people in my class had. I did have friends throughout the four years of high school, but none of them continued that friendship with me after we graduated.
I love my life now. I have a great group of women that I will continue my friendship with throughout our lives. I have a wonderful husband, my fur baby, my two families, and a long, exciting road ahead of me. Will I go to my 5 year high school reunion (if we have one)? Probably not. There really is no one that I long to see right now. No one from high school contacted me to congratulate me on my wedding and marriage. Only one person has reached out to talk about my life. To be honest, I'm really disappointed in my former high school classmates. I would have loved to stay in touch and to stay friends, but I guess I wasn't important enough in their lives as they were in mine. The friends I do have are from college and jobs I've had, and to be perfectly honest, that is quite okay with me. I wouldn't trade them for anything.
Friday, January 6, 2017
Body Image
I never used to be obsessed with how I looked or how people saw me. I was able to put on the clothes that I wanted and didn't give it a second thought. I could go and play with my friends and not worry if my stomach looked fat or if I had on the right makeup. The first time I can remember where I worried about how I looked was in the fifth grade. I was one of the tallest girls in my class, which was not a good thing at that age. I was even taller than a lot of the boys. I can remember worrying about clothes. I would wear mascara and powder on my face. I wore a choker because that was cool. Beyond fifth grade, my thoughts about myself were no longer positive.
I was never happy with how I looked. I hated the way clothes looked on me. I was obsessed with trying to make myself looked smaller than I was. I was jealous of the pretty girls in class. Their hair was always perfect, their makeup flawless, and they could make uniforms look like they belonged on a runway. I could never compare to them. I was a shadow on the wall that the boys looked over. I was a nerd who always had my nose in a book.
Getting in to high school was even worse. I attended a Catholic high school, the only one in my city. A big majority of the population was kids who parents were extremely wealthy. The kids were stuck up jerks and snobs. They looked down on the kids who didn't have Uggs or Sperry's or whatever the name brand trend was that year. I never had the "in" shoes or the newest cell phone. I had a phone that slid up to a keyboard, I wore knock off shoes, and my parents weren't anywhere close to wealthy. While I would never trade my family or my life for anything, at the time I was extremely jealous. I was a nobody in my high school. I was shy, quiet, and overlooked. Theater and music were my things. Even in those, I was still the outcast. No matter where I went or what club I joined, there were cliques. If that wasn't enough, add the perfect hair, the perfect bodies, and their parents' money and a nobody would start to really doubt themselves.
I wasn't fat in high school, but I definitely wasn't skinny. My hair wasn't flawless and I had a skirt that didn't fit right. I would constantly pull at my shirt so my stomach wouldn't look fat. Winter was the best season for me, because I could wear sweatshirts to hide myself. Spring and Fall were the worst. I had no sweatshirt to wear over and would constantly obsess over how I looked. I never went a day without makeup. I hated going to the pep rallies, because then I would see the cheerleaders and the dancers who had the kind of bodies that I could only dream that I had. I got made fun of by the boys in my class because I was quiet, wasn't the ditsy airhead that most of the other girls were, and because I was always reading a book.
When I finally went to college, I was able to reinvent myself in a way. I went to a school in Minnesota where no one knew me. Over time, I started to find my place. I wasn't the social outcast anymore. I was still an outsider, but I had a lot of friends. I gave myself a tough girl exterior and made my appearance send a message of "don't mess with me." This was how I protected myself and all of my insecurities.
I have never felt good about my body. I always have the notion of wanting to change my appearance. I now have a husband who constantly tells me that I'm beautiful and gorgeous. He will make me feel amazing and I don't doubt myself when I'm with him. It's when he's not with me that my critical brain takes over. Getting dressed is a long ordeal. I go through at least 4 outfits before finding one that is suitable.
I work with second graders. I haven't noticed a lot of body image issues with the class that I help in, but I can't help but see them in the future with thoughts of how they're not good enough and it breaks my heart. All I want is to help other girls see how beautiful they really are. I want them to see that they're good enough. One day they will see the models in the magazines or see girls in their class with their perfect bodies. I want other girls to know that it's okay if they don't look the same as everyone else. I want all girls and women to know that it's okay to be who they are.
Someday I hope that I can feel comfortable in my own skin. I hope that someday I can stop dreaming of having the body that the models have. Someday, I hope that I can put on any piece of clothing that I want and not doubt that it looks okay. One day, I will achieve those aspirations, but until then, I can only love myself as I am now.
I was never happy with how I looked. I hated the way clothes looked on me. I was obsessed with trying to make myself looked smaller than I was. I was jealous of the pretty girls in class. Their hair was always perfect, their makeup flawless, and they could make uniforms look like they belonged on a runway. I could never compare to them. I was a shadow on the wall that the boys looked over. I was a nerd who always had my nose in a book.
Getting in to high school was even worse. I attended a Catholic high school, the only one in my city. A big majority of the population was kids who parents were extremely wealthy. The kids were stuck up jerks and snobs. They looked down on the kids who didn't have Uggs or Sperry's or whatever the name brand trend was that year. I never had the "in" shoes or the newest cell phone. I had a phone that slid up to a keyboard, I wore knock off shoes, and my parents weren't anywhere close to wealthy. While I would never trade my family or my life for anything, at the time I was extremely jealous. I was a nobody in my high school. I was shy, quiet, and overlooked. Theater and music were my things. Even in those, I was still the outcast. No matter where I went or what club I joined, there were cliques. If that wasn't enough, add the perfect hair, the perfect bodies, and their parents' money and a nobody would start to really doubt themselves.
I wasn't fat in high school, but I definitely wasn't skinny. My hair wasn't flawless and I had a skirt that didn't fit right. I would constantly pull at my shirt so my stomach wouldn't look fat. Winter was the best season for me, because I could wear sweatshirts to hide myself. Spring and Fall were the worst. I had no sweatshirt to wear over and would constantly obsess over how I looked. I never went a day without makeup. I hated going to the pep rallies, because then I would see the cheerleaders and the dancers who had the kind of bodies that I could only dream that I had. I got made fun of by the boys in my class because I was quiet, wasn't the ditsy airhead that most of the other girls were, and because I was always reading a book.
When I finally went to college, I was able to reinvent myself in a way. I went to a school in Minnesota where no one knew me. Over time, I started to find my place. I wasn't the social outcast anymore. I was still an outsider, but I had a lot of friends. I gave myself a tough girl exterior and made my appearance send a message of "don't mess with me." This was how I protected myself and all of my insecurities.
I have never felt good about my body. I always have the notion of wanting to change my appearance. I now have a husband who constantly tells me that I'm beautiful and gorgeous. He will make me feel amazing and I don't doubt myself when I'm with him. It's when he's not with me that my critical brain takes over. Getting dressed is a long ordeal. I go through at least 4 outfits before finding one that is suitable.
I work with second graders. I haven't noticed a lot of body image issues with the class that I help in, but I can't help but see them in the future with thoughts of how they're not good enough and it breaks my heart. All I want is to help other girls see how beautiful they really are. I want them to see that they're good enough. One day they will see the models in the magazines or see girls in their class with their perfect bodies. I want other girls to know that it's okay if they don't look the same as everyone else. I want all girls and women to know that it's okay to be who they are.
Someday I hope that I can feel comfortable in my own skin. I hope that someday I can stop dreaming of having the body that the models have. Someday, I hope that I can put on any piece of clothing that I want and not doubt that it looks okay. One day, I will achieve those aspirations, but until then, I can only love myself as I am now.
Wednesday, January 4, 2017
Marriage, Religion, and God
My husband and I belong to different religions. I was raised a Catholic and my husband was raised an Evangelist. While those are both very different in beliefs, my husband and I respected each other's religions. We both agreed early on in the relationship that we would never make the other convert. We made a decision that we would find a religion and a church that worked for the two of us as a couple.
Three and a half months into the marriage and we have yet to act on that decision. I work in a Catholic school, which means I go to mass every Wednesday with the whole school. My husband cannot attend any service because of having to work on Sundays. I would like to find a church that accommodates both of our beliefs and time requirements.
I consider myself to be a pretty religious person. My religion and connection with God is mostly personal. I find myself praying on my own whether I'm in the middle of making food or while I'm driving. Even when I would forget to pray or talk to God for a while, I would always feel like it was forgiven.
I've always had the notion that God was by my side regardless of what I did or didn't do. The one and only time where I had serious doubts about my faith and God was during the loss of my baby. I had never doubted God the way I did for about a month. It felt like I was being punished for not wanting a baby in the first place and because I did something wrong. I couldn't understand, and still can't, why God chose to take my baby away from me and let other people keep theirs. Instead of turning towards God in my time of need, I turned away from Him. I allowed my pain and anger to take hold of my emotions and thoughts. Seeing a baby or someone who was pregnant caused horrible feelings inside of me for the first month. Slowly, I began to start thanking God for all the blessings I do have. I thanked Him for the opportunity to have seen my baby's heartbeat before He took my baby up to Heaven. I prayed that God would bless my husband and I with another child when the time is right.
The past month, I have reflected on how wrong I was to doubt God and to doubt His plan for my life. I realized that even in the toughest of times, I should always be thankful that I have a roof over my head, clothes on my back, food on the table, and money in the bank. I should never lose sight of the wonderful things in my life. God has a specific plan for me and my job is to trust in Him and enjoy the adventures.
Religion and God has a huge part in my life and in my marriage. God is the steady rock in an otherwise turbulent river that is my life. He is the rock that I turn to to thank for everything that I have, He is who I ask for help in my times of trouble, and He is the foundation for my marriage. Without God, I wouldn't have the life I have today or the husband that I love so much.
I have no doubts that He will bless my husband and I with beautiful babies and a prosperous life. I have no doubt that He will walk by my side throughout my whole life. Religion is important to me and my husband. It was always be in my life and my prayer life will always be a staple of who I am.
Three and a half months into the marriage and we have yet to act on that decision. I work in a Catholic school, which means I go to mass every Wednesday with the whole school. My husband cannot attend any service because of having to work on Sundays. I would like to find a church that accommodates both of our beliefs and time requirements.
I consider myself to be a pretty religious person. My religion and connection with God is mostly personal. I find myself praying on my own whether I'm in the middle of making food or while I'm driving. Even when I would forget to pray or talk to God for a while, I would always feel like it was forgiven.
I've always had the notion that God was by my side regardless of what I did or didn't do. The one and only time where I had serious doubts about my faith and God was during the loss of my baby. I had never doubted God the way I did for about a month. It felt like I was being punished for not wanting a baby in the first place and because I did something wrong. I couldn't understand, and still can't, why God chose to take my baby away from me and let other people keep theirs. Instead of turning towards God in my time of need, I turned away from Him. I allowed my pain and anger to take hold of my emotions and thoughts. Seeing a baby or someone who was pregnant caused horrible feelings inside of me for the first month. Slowly, I began to start thanking God for all the blessings I do have. I thanked Him for the opportunity to have seen my baby's heartbeat before He took my baby up to Heaven. I prayed that God would bless my husband and I with another child when the time is right.
The past month, I have reflected on how wrong I was to doubt God and to doubt His plan for my life. I realized that even in the toughest of times, I should always be thankful that I have a roof over my head, clothes on my back, food on the table, and money in the bank. I should never lose sight of the wonderful things in my life. God has a specific plan for me and my job is to trust in Him and enjoy the adventures.
Religion and God has a huge part in my life and in my marriage. God is the steady rock in an otherwise turbulent river that is my life. He is the rock that I turn to to thank for everything that I have, He is who I ask for help in my times of trouble, and He is the foundation for my marriage. Without God, I wouldn't have the life I have today or the husband that I love so much.
I have no doubts that He will bless my husband and I with beautiful babies and a prosperous life. I have no doubt that He will walk by my side throughout my whole life. Religion is important to me and my husband. It was always be in my life and my prayer life will always be a staple of who I am.
Tuesday, January 3, 2017
The First Months of Marriage
When my husband and I were preparing for our marriage with premarital counseling, we discussed many subjects. Some of those had to do with who would do the chores around the house, who would handle the finances, and etc. It was clear what my expectations were. He already knew my thoughts on the "traditional" wife's responsibilities.
I am not the "traditional" wife and I never will be. I hate to cook, I don't know how to bake, and I have no interest in staying at home to take care of the house and children. It was made clear to my husband before we were married that I wouldn't be cleaning the whole house by myself everyday and he would not have dinner cooked and ready for him when he came home. I would, however, split the cooking and cleaning chores with him. The best part was that he loved to cook and do the outside work (things that I hate doing).
It was a bit of an adjustment when we started life as a new married couple. Sharing a bank account was scary and caused me to be anxious. I was used to having full control of my money. We had already agreed that I would take care of paying bills and handling the money, since I am good with finances. I did have to learn how to not micromanage every bit of my husband's spending, but at the same time, voice my opinions and thoughts about how we were spending our money.
I also had to get used to being alone on the weekends. I do not work on Saturday and Sunday's and my husband usually does. I have a whole two days of mostly being by myself, aside from the dog. When I don't feel like going anywhere, I stay at home. My one thing that I can do to make myself feel productive is to clean the house and take the dog out in the yard to play. Basically, I felt like I spent my time off cleaning the house every week and my husband spent his days off playing video games and hanging out with his friends. I started to feel like the typical 50's housewife that keeps the house clean for her man and is the responsible one while the husband gets to enjoy the house without the work and gets to do what he wants.
It wasn't my husband's intention for it to feel this way, but he didn't do any housework on his own without me writing a list or telling him. It took me voicing my thoughts and opinions (something I'm not very good at) for him to get it. I didn't realize that doing chores wasn't the first thing that entered his mind when he has time off. Communication has been something that I've had to get used to. This doesn't mean I never talked to a person when something was off or wrong, but I was never good at letting people hear my full voice. I would hide inside myself and shut down if someone made me mad or angry. In fact, it's something I'm still working at and continue to struggle with, but it has become easier with my husband's help.
When we start having children I don't want to stay at home. I have no interest in being the wife who spends every waking minute cleaning up after children and keeping the house in perfect order. To be clear, I love children and my children will be my pride and joy, but I also love working and making my contribution to the family. I am used to working multiple jobs and keeping busy. I don't think I could ever give up having a job or a career. I want to be able to have my own career that I am proud of and that my children and husband can be proud of. One of the reasons I want to be a school counselor is so that I can work the same hours that my children will be in school and so I can spend my summers devoting all my attention to my children. My mother has been a teacher my whole life and her job in the school always seemed to work well with the schedules of my sisters and I.
While I may be independent and stubborn, my husband and I have learned how to live life together, at least for now. We've been married for almost 4 months and our marriage couldn't be any better. I look forward to the blessings that we will continue to receive and the adventures that life takes us on. Our marriage is only going to grow stronger and our lives are only going to get better.
I am not the "traditional" wife and I never will be. I hate to cook, I don't know how to bake, and I have no interest in staying at home to take care of the house and children. It was made clear to my husband before we were married that I wouldn't be cleaning the whole house by myself everyday and he would not have dinner cooked and ready for him when he came home. I would, however, split the cooking and cleaning chores with him. The best part was that he loved to cook and do the outside work (things that I hate doing).
It was a bit of an adjustment when we started life as a new married couple. Sharing a bank account was scary and caused me to be anxious. I was used to having full control of my money. We had already agreed that I would take care of paying bills and handling the money, since I am good with finances. I did have to learn how to not micromanage every bit of my husband's spending, but at the same time, voice my opinions and thoughts about how we were spending our money.
I also had to get used to being alone on the weekends. I do not work on Saturday and Sunday's and my husband usually does. I have a whole two days of mostly being by myself, aside from the dog. When I don't feel like going anywhere, I stay at home. My one thing that I can do to make myself feel productive is to clean the house and take the dog out in the yard to play. Basically, I felt like I spent my time off cleaning the house every week and my husband spent his days off playing video games and hanging out with his friends. I started to feel like the typical 50's housewife that keeps the house clean for her man and is the responsible one while the husband gets to enjoy the house without the work and gets to do what he wants.
It wasn't my husband's intention for it to feel this way, but he didn't do any housework on his own without me writing a list or telling him. It took me voicing my thoughts and opinions (something I'm not very good at) for him to get it. I didn't realize that doing chores wasn't the first thing that entered his mind when he has time off. Communication has been something that I've had to get used to. This doesn't mean I never talked to a person when something was off or wrong, but I was never good at letting people hear my full voice. I would hide inside myself and shut down if someone made me mad or angry. In fact, it's something I'm still working at and continue to struggle with, but it has become easier with my husband's help.
When we start having children I don't want to stay at home. I have no interest in being the wife who spends every waking minute cleaning up after children and keeping the house in perfect order. To be clear, I love children and my children will be my pride and joy, but I also love working and making my contribution to the family. I am used to working multiple jobs and keeping busy. I don't think I could ever give up having a job or a career. I want to be able to have my own career that I am proud of and that my children and husband can be proud of. One of the reasons I want to be a school counselor is so that I can work the same hours that my children will be in school and so I can spend my summers devoting all my attention to my children. My mother has been a teacher my whole life and her job in the school always seemed to work well with the schedules of my sisters and I.
While I may be independent and stubborn, my husband and I have learned how to live life together, at least for now. We've been married for almost 4 months and our marriage couldn't be any better. I look forward to the blessings that we will continue to receive and the adventures that life takes us on. Our marriage is only going to grow stronger and our lives are only going to get better.
Monday, January 2, 2017
Reminiscing on 2016
As I sit here on the second day of 2017 drinking my coffee, eating my simple lunch of microwaved leftover pot roast, and looking at my half-cleaned house, I start to think about all that I was blessed with in 2016.
I graduated college after four very grueling years. I worked harder during the four years of college than I ever have before. Did I have fun every day and have the "well-rounded" college experience? No. Did I have a 4.0 all four years and get involved with a thousand different activities? No. I was working most of the four years and spent more time at my jobs than I did being in class, but I wouldn't trade my experience for anything. I learned so many life lessons and came out ready to handle anything the world could throw at me. My graduation day was one of the best days of my life. I didn't know what I was going to do next or where I was going to work, but I was confident in myself.
I chose not to start graduate school right away. Instead, I wanted to start working and get experience under my belt. I ended up working for a company that I had worked for in high school. I helped mentally and physically handicapped adults and children. While I was good at it and have a passion for the work, it wasn't the type of experience I was looking for (I had already done it for 4+ years). I started to waitress at a restaurant that I had also worked for in college as extra income. I hated the job, but I loved the extra cash.
I finally got a job where I could gain experience that would be useful towards my intended career. I was offered a position as a teacher's aid at my old middle school and helped with the after school program. It has been a blessing to be able to work with the most amazing 25 second graders. It is challenging, but so rewarding.
It did start to become difficult seeing where I wanted to eventually end up; as a school counselor. I decided to look for a program that was completely online. I found a program that I could finish in 2 years and was offered through an accredited school. While it doesn't start until June, the idea that I will finally start to work on my Master's degree is exciting.
I got married in September to the most wonderful man. He is everything I dreamed and prayed for. Being a wife was weird and new territory for me and I had to learn how to "adult." Our relationship was no longer Skype and texting all day (I was in Minnesota for college and he was in Iowa for 75% of the relationship). We had to learn to live with each other's quirks and differences. So far, the married life has been wonderful, despite some things that we could not have predicted.
In October, my husband and I found out we were expecting. It wasn't something that we were trying for and had decided to wait for a few years. Nonetheless, we were excited and so thankful. Things were going great and I got to see my 6 week old baby's heartbeat through ultrasound in November. The next day was when things went wrong. My husband took me to the emergency room where we found out that I was losing the baby. In all my daydreams and hopes for my life, I had never imagined I would lose my first baby. It was and is the hardest thing I have ever had to deal with.
The two things that has made it easier is my husband and our amazing fur baby, Spirit. We rescued our 1 year old Siberian Husky from a rescue shelter. He has been a handful, but we wouldn't trade him for anything. The cuddles and loves he gives me are so worth his sassy and stubborn ways. We want to eventually get him a friend, but he is quite the special dog and it will require another special dog to deal with him.
2016 was mostly good for me. I have an amazing husband, and a supportive and loving family who continues to grow. I am more than ready to see what 2017 has in store for my husband, my fur baby, and I. While nothing in our life is absolutely perfect, it is everything I could ask for.
I graduated college after four very grueling years. I worked harder during the four years of college than I ever have before. Did I have fun every day and have the "well-rounded" college experience? No. Did I have a 4.0 all four years and get involved with a thousand different activities? No. I was working most of the four years and spent more time at my jobs than I did being in class, but I wouldn't trade my experience for anything. I learned so many life lessons and came out ready to handle anything the world could throw at me. My graduation day was one of the best days of my life. I didn't know what I was going to do next or where I was going to work, but I was confident in myself.
I chose not to start graduate school right away. Instead, I wanted to start working and get experience under my belt. I ended up working for a company that I had worked for in high school. I helped mentally and physically handicapped adults and children. While I was good at it and have a passion for the work, it wasn't the type of experience I was looking for (I had already done it for 4+ years). I started to waitress at a restaurant that I had also worked for in college as extra income. I hated the job, but I loved the extra cash.
I finally got a job where I could gain experience that would be useful towards my intended career. I was offered a position as a teacher's aid at my old middle school and helped with the after school program. It has been a blessing to be able to work with the most amazing 25 second graders. It is challenging, but so rewarding.
It did start to become difficult seeing where I wanted to eventually end up; as a school counselor. I decided to look for a program that was completely online. I found a program that I could finish in 2 years and was offered through an accredited school. While it doesn't start until June, the idea that I will finally start to work on my Master's degree is exciting.
I got married in September to the most wonderful man. He is everything I dreamed and prayed for. Being a wife was weird and new territory for me and I had to learn how to "adult." Our relationship was no longer Skype and texting all day (I was in Minnesota for college and he was in Iowa for 75% of the relationship). We had to learn to live with each other's quirks and differences. So far, the married life has been wonderful, despite some things that we could not have predicted.
In October, my husband and I found out we were expecting. It wasn't something that we were trying for and had decided to wait for a few years. Nonetheless, we were excited and so thankful. Things were going great and I got to see my 6 week old baby's heartbeat through ultrasound in November. The next day was when things went wrong. My husband took me to the emergency room where we found out that I was losing the baby. In all my daydreams and hopes for my life, I had never imagined I would lose my first baby. It was and is the hardest thing I have ever had to deal with.
The two things that has made it easier is my husband and our amazing fur baby, Spirit. We rescued our 1 year old Siberian Husky from a rescue shelter. He has been a handful, but we wouldn't trade him for anything. The cuddles and loves he gives me are so worth his sassy and stubborn ways. We want to eventually get him a friend, but he is quite the special dog and it will require another special dog to deal with him.
2016 was mostly good for me. I have an amazing husband, and a supportive and loving family who continues to grow. I am more than ready to see what 2017 has in store for my husband, my fur baby, and I. While nothing in our life is absolutely perfect, it is everything I could ask for.
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